I'm It.

Mel tagged me. The idea of the game, apparently, is to list 6 weird things about myself and 1 thing that isn't true. Then, in the comments section, you all get to guess which is the untrue statement. Truthfully, I'm having a difficult time coming up with strange things, which is peculiar, because, I'm an odd duck. So...guess away!

1. I have a black thumb (figuratively of course). House plants shudder when I come nearby, knowing that despite my best efforts, I will be the death of them. Pansies and ferns alike have suffered my unintentional murderous ways. Despite this, I can't wait to buy a house, so that I may have a bountiful garden and oodles of fresh produce.

2. I am immune to the smell of baby poo. The substance is gross to me but I have some freak resistance to the smell, it doesn't bother me. This has made me a popular babysitter for friends and family alike (the fathers who have diaper duty especially love it when I'm around!)

3. My ex-husband and I had bed bugs at one point. It was one of the most disgusting and horrific experiences of my life. Unbeknownst to us both our bedroom was infested with the little blood suckers and we had to douche our entire apartment and purchase a new bed. I swear I am NOT a dirt-bag. I'm convinced I got them from a laundromat and will not ever go to them anymore. The one requirement I had for my solo apartment after leaving him was a washer/dryer hook-up.

4. I can't function with long fingernails. I keep them really short because simple tasks such as pulling up my pants become nearly impossible for me. This is tragic because I LOVE the look of a French manicure. For that reason, when I get a pedicure (which is very infrequent, mind you) that I get a French Pedicure. I even have a picture of my toes adorning their first French-style pedicure!

5. I have never imbibed alcohol to the point of vomiting. I REALLY hate to puke. If I feel I am anywhere close to the puke limit, I stop immediately. The idea of upchucking into a throne while inebriated is all the motivation I need to put on the brakes. I have, however, eaten till I puke. Which is, of course, something I'm not proud of. I just didn't want you all to get the idea that I'm perfect ;-) We're not talking eating disorder either, we're talking no self control where chocolate is concerned.

6. One of my baby toes faces the wrong direction. I broke it on a pool side chair and it turned so that the nail is facing out. My sister calls it my alien toe. The other baby toe experienced a similar incident with a door jam, but that one stayed at a 45 degree angle from the rest of the toes and a trip to the emergency room to have it set was in order. Ahh, good times.

7. I don't wear makeup of any kind. Don't get the point. For me, there is an acne issue. I put on makeup, then zits pop up like chicken pox. Then, more makeup is required to cover said zits. It's a vicious cycle. And, mascara makes my eyes itch. Inevitably, I forget that I have it on, I rub my eyes, and spend the day looking like a raccoon or a victim of violence. Luckily, I have a natural type of beauty that doesn't require artificial enhancement :-)

So....what's your guess?

The New Girl

I started my new job. I've put in three 10 hour days and foresee lotsa mounds of paperwork in my future. I'm still undecided as to whether or not the job will be rewarding, but at this point I do feel as though I made the right decision. I think the experience will help immensely in future job pursuits. And there are perks, like, I have my very own desk. I never had my very own desk before! I've spent the last three days agonizing over how I should go about decorating my personal space. Currently I'm going minimalist but I think I'm going to commission a couple of artists I know to make me some pieces. They work cheap, a couple of cookies as incentive and these artists will put paint to paper like Picassos in the making.

And, I work with some really nice girls. Really nice. Super duper nice.

Too nice.

Like, gag me nice.

Like, you can't possibly be this nice for real nice. I can't handle chicks like this with their singsong voices and their super sweetness. I'm not one of those chicks. I'm nice, and I'm friendly, and I'm outgoing. But I don't raise my voice several octaves while carrying on a conversation. And, I'm not excited every time someone comes in the room (HI!!! HOW ARE YOU?! I know we just saw each other yesterday, but HI, HOW are you??!!!!) And I'm sorry, I realize that the folks we work with are mentally ill, but they're not children. If you spoke to me that way, with your singy songy tone I would slap you. I have a feeling I'm going to be the outcast in super fakey catty nicey girl land. But that's ok. I can handle it.

Perhaps I'm being to harsh. Perhaps these girls are sincerely very nice people. I don't intend to be mean or rude, and I intend to keep an open mind, but I sure as hell have no intention of acting like every person that walks into the office is my long lost best friend. I intend to continue speaking at the same decibel and for the love of all that is holy, please do not invite me to a purse party.

Quick Update

First of all, I apologize for the lengthy time period between posts. I had some kind of weird seasonal depression set in and I didn't want to doom and gloom my readers. Nobody wants the amout of sad negativity I would have spewed had I posted.

But, I seem to be better now. I accepted the job and just completed my second full day. It has been an eventful week. I had to call in sick on my first day because I was attacked by a stomach bug that tried to take my life (okay, that's a slight exaggeration but it sure as hell didn't feel it at the time) and I couldn't stray far from either my bed or the bathroom. Then we had a winter's worth of snow dumped on us in less than 24 hours. Then our computer crashed. So...I'm attempting to compose this post on our new laptop which is seriously testing my typing skills. I can't even begin to guess how many times my left pinky had hit the caps lock instead of the a in the last 10 minutes.

It's late, and I just got home from a 10 hour shift wherein I saw lots of mentally ill adults, so please forgive me if this post is short and slightly less than inspired. I promise to update soon...damn blogger made me switch to beta today. Forcibly! Can you believe that?!

Summa Cum Laude Naivete

I got my degree in the mail today. In September of 2004 I returned to college. Having survived my divorce, stood on my own 2 feet financially, and having had a wonderful taste of being on my own, I set out to return to school and attain an education which would render me able to help my fellow man. Mind you, not a career path that would lead to my being in the financial category of Bill Gates, Donald Trump, or the Bushes, but one that would leave me comfortable at the end of a work week; comfortable that I had spent at least 40 hours doing my part to better the lives of others, and making myself and family comfortable financially. I spent the last two years in a caffeine induced trance, stressing over grades, commuting weather, and trying to understand the new fangled way of doing research*. So, here I am, a Summa Cum Laude** graduate with a Bachelor's degree, anxiously anticipating a great job. One that will make me feel as though this education was a good idea. One that will make June not stressful when those student loans come due.

The universe is laughing at me today. HA. Poor naive creature.

I have until tomorrow to accept or decline a job offer I received yesterday. I will be making the same wage I did while working in retail before returning to school. The hours are crap and the pay isn't enough to cover my monthly bills. I will have to continue waiting tables for the time being in order to make ends meet. There is no guarantee that I will advance to a higher position, but the job is a county job and the benefits are really good. I'm told my job will be broken into thirds, one third client contact, one third paperwork, and one third cleaning.

Yup, that's right, one third cleaning. C-L-E-A-N-I-N-G.

But, theoretically, I will have the opportunity to assist adults with mental illness to either move onto, or return to fully funtioning active lives in the community. I will be mentoring, teaching life skills (like CLEANING), and being a source of support. I have to put my money where my mouth is, and decide what it's worth to me to help others. Am I willing to work a little harder? Start at the bottom, in the trenches with those that need my help? Or do I want to take the easier path. The one where I hold out for a Monday through Friday job. One that's less messy, and has a little more distinction than "residential counselor".

I want to be an art therapist, but a Master's degree is in order for me to do so. A Master's degree is not in the cards right now. I have to get several more ducks in a row before I pursue that dream.

So, I have to make a decision tomorrow whether or not to take this position and make the most of it, or whether I should hold out a little while for something 'better' to come along. It's a gamble either way. As our poker buddies would tell you, I'm a lousy gambler. I'll let you know what I decide.


*When I was a wee lass, we went to the library and combed through articles. Nowadays it's all about random article searches on your home school's data base. Sounds easier, but I'm not convinced.

**Wanna hear something funny? I had to google Summa Cum Laude because I thought Magna was higher and I was pissed. Perfectionism is hard to overcome!