The Smoking Nazi Polyester Princess

I'm a little on edge lately. What with the husband's ex being heinous, the working 60+ hours a week, financial strains, planning the shower for my sister's impending wedding, the job search, dealing with troubled youth who just happen to ooze disrespect and animosity, and my customer's dog taking a big smelly dump in the kitchen while I was cleaning this morning; my stress and anxiety levels are high.

So...today when 2x4 and I were arriving from separate locations in order to have a meeting with a financial advisor and I parked in the HUGE and EMPTY Wendy's parking lot nearby, I became somewhat enraged when the polyester garbed smoking Wendy's employee told me that I could not park there or she would have me towed. I yelled at her a little bit. Nowhere NEAR as much as she deserved and moved my car to the next door lot. The ugly minimum wage making biotch apparently needed to have some authority over someone today and pick the woman in the 11 year old rusty cheap model Toyota.

Seriously, it took me a good 2 hours to calm down and I'm still plotting my revenge which will likely involve multiple opened ketchup packets being smeared in hard to reach places throughout the restaurant while I'm parked in their lot.

I'm okay with being petty and small on this occasion. I'm tired of taking the high road. The high road blows. All the hip and happy people are on the low road. I'm taking that route this time.

Job Application Process

Me: "Hello, I emailed a resume to you folks a week ago and would just like to be sure that you received it."

Human Resources Drone: "I'm sure we did, there's just a really long process it has to go through before you hear back (insert long explanation of the avenues resumes take here) and then if you're qualified the supervisor will call you."

Me: "Ummmmmm, okayyyyy" Gee, I wonder if they received my resume.

Step-Parenting 201: Being the Bigger Person

We've all heard the stories. They all start the same, "I didn't know it was possible to love another human being this much until I held my son/daughter in my arms for the first time". It's that unconditional parent/child love. The stuff Lifetime movies thrive on. It's the reason kids continue to love abusive parents and parents love their kid even when he becomes a serial killer. It's scientifically unexplainable but the biological parent/child bond is a well known phenomenon.

Step-parenting is NOT the same. Step-parenting is (in my opinion) more thankless than parenting your biological spawn because that carte blanche forgiveness and love are not guaranteed. This is complicated shit people. And not for the weak of heart. And no matter what you think ahead of time, you have absolutely no idea what you are getting yourself into. No idea.

There are, of course, different levels of step-parental involvement. I know step-parents who have as little to do with their spouse's children as possible with no intention of changing that dynamic. My husband and I, however, take a much different tact. We are a parenting team. The results of parenting choices effect us both and we therefore make the majority of those decisions together. The kids know this and it almost nullifies the going to the other parent to get a different answer problem. And it makes the kids realize, quickly, that walking all over step-mom is not a sanctioned activity and will not be tolerated. This is really the only option for me. My husband is an involved father and laissez-faire step-parenting would not have suited my personality nor our lifestyle.

But I tell you what, I sure as hell didn't foresee my husband having the flu and my having to bring the kids to their soccer games, which take place an hour away from our home, ALONE. I've been involved with the kid's school and social lives long enough to know that the parents in and around their community primarily fall into two categories; The ones I don't know, and the ones I don't like. The kids attend school in a small "tight knit" (read: Stepford) type community that I'm pretty sure views me as a hussy idiot. I'm really okay with that. I'll serve as my husband's trophy wife in their eyes, I find it amusing...when my husband is there.

So, today, while my husband lay around with a fever and body aches, I spent 6 hours either driving, watching soccer games, or killing time in between games. My husband and his ex are on the verge of 'Parenting War 3' and I was flying solo into this mission. And I sooooo didn't want to do it. I told the kids just that as they were taking their time getting ready. I said, "Look, I don't even want to go so it doesn't matter to me if you never get ready, we can just stay home".

But I went. Without my husband. And I was polite to his ex and dismissive of all the other losers that have been looking down their noses at me for years. I wasn't obligated to do this in any way. I did what was right. I took on this parenting role with an open heart and I love those kids. For this reason I spent my Saturday playing soccer mom. I figure the fact that the kids didn't thank me just means they do indeed see me as a parent, and you don't generally thank your parent for everyday stuff like rides to soccer.

I just finished my therapeutic bowl of peanut butter cup ice cream while chanting the mantra, "I am the bigger person" over and over again.