My Step-Son is Smarter Than Your Husband

Let's talk about the size of the hole in your toilet, shall we? It's a big hole. It doesn't move. And, if you're a man, you know that there are a couple stray drops after the flow ceases.

Still with me? Okay...I clean houses for rich people. Not "Paris Hilton" rich but, "never want for anything and take vacations to Hawaii and Europe and Fiji and own a second house in Cape Cod" rich. The men of these houses are educated individuals who are CEOs and lawyers and financial advisors. They travel in cultured circles to swanky parties and drive Porches and Mercedes and BMWs. They have wine cellars and attend black tie affairs. They have houses with more bathrooms than most people have bedrooms.

But I tell you what they have not figured out that my 9 year old step-son understands: The pee goes IN the hole. Every last drop. Not on the rim, not down the sides, not down the front to form a miniature puddle at that will dry up into a crusty yellow spot. IN THE HOLE.

Near as I can tell, my step-son is a genious.

So, as the title states, my step-son is smarter than your husband.

Wisdom from Pink

I'm not up on contemporary music. I've reached that point in life where the majority of top twenties music is just obnoxious noise. I'm don't dislike all new stuff, I'm just very selective regarding what I'll listen to. So when one of the kids in my group was doing a full body spasm and told me he was mocking the video "Disturbia" I came home and watched it on youtube. Then the surfing began.

I have an unusual sense of humor. I found this video hilarious and surprisingly meaningful (you know, for a song by a girl who has named herself after the color of her hair). I just thought I'd share it. Now, I have no idea how old it is, and maybe you've seen it a thousand times, but as I mentioned in my previous post, I don't have a TV so it's all new to me. Enjoy:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0oGBvN3rAi0&feature=user

Truthfully...I'm not all that interesting...

but...SBS has requested that I enlighten you all with 7 interesting things about myself, so, I'm going to try to come up with something. I apologize in advance if you are bored out of your skull while reading the following:

1. We don't have a TV. We sold it for 20 bucks in a garage sale this summer with our DVD/VCR player. We are both prone to television addiction and have therefore removed the temptation. And I can count on one hand the number of Seinfeld episodes I've seen. I think Jerry Seinfeld is an ass.

2. When I went to college right out of high school I intended to major in environmental science. But I had to change my major when I failed chemistry and simultaneously had calculus kick my butt.

3. I think there is a special place in hell reserved for bad tippers. They have to spend eternity serving ungrateful people who treat them like crap.

4. I was such a finicky eater when I was a kid that my diet consisted primarily of mayonnaise sandwiches, hot dogs (with the ends cut off because they looked like belly buttons), and cinnamon toast. I wouldn't touch a vegetable. Now I am a vegetarian. My mom loves to tell people all about her vegetarian daughter who wouldn't touch veggies as a kid.

5. When I was in high school I was part of the nerdy/loser kid clique. We were misfits for a variety of reasons but had fun together. Once one of my friends had a toga party...we all went to his house dressed in sheets and played stupid party games while eating the food his mom made for us. It was a riot.

6. I do this kinda nutty thing whenever I see roadkill on the side of the road. It always makes me sad so I envision it's soul and amassed knowledge being absorbed back into the earth and it's kin so that they know not to run in front of cars. Maybe one of these tidbits about me should be that I'm slightly insane?

7. My mother is legally blind. So I spent my the first part of my life bumming rides because she couldn't drive me anywhere. These days I feel guilty whenever I pass a hitchhiker. But I won't pick them up for fear they may be an axe murderer.