The Kindness of Strangers

I have to where a neck tie to work. It's nowhere near as humiliating as the floppy bow tie I adorned at my first waitressing job ten years ago, but the need to be careful to not dip it into patron's water glasses was new to me. After several occassions wherein I dragged my tie through food and/or greasy liquid, I asked The Good Guy for a tie-tack, knowing he would have one. I didn't know however, that it would be in the shape of an F-16 (a fighting falcon is its nickname, so I've been informed). It was a gift to The Good Guy from his father, who was in the United States Air Force. I wear it for function, and know very little about planes or jets, etc. The shape was irrelevant as it was purely funtional.

I waited on a patron several weeks ago who was very talkative about my tie tack. He was involved in building F-16s and various other planes/jets (whatever) before he retired. He fired off LOTS of information that didn't sink into my brain, as I was mentally surveying my tables in order to determine my next move at each one. However, his enthusiasm was infectious, and I liked him. His wife boasted that when they had lived on Long Island, he could name the type of plane flying over head just from hearing the sound. It was pleasant to wait on them as it always is when the patrons are personable and friendly. The gentleman mentioned in passing that he would bring me in an F-18 tie tack the next time he and his wife come for dinner. Though I said that it would be great, I didn't for a moment expect it to actually happen.

Friday night he and his wife came back. They were waiting at the bar for a table to be ready when I walked by. I stopped to say hello, and he reached into his pocket, pulling out a plane-shaped tie tack. It was similar to mine but had two tail wings (I think that's what they're called). He told me what it is (a Hornet or an F-18), and told me that I could keep it. His wife asked in amazement, "You remembered?!" then touched my arm and said, "He must really like you because he never remembers anything".

I can't even begin to put into words how touched I was by this stupid little trinket. It wasn't about the tie tack (though I will keep it always as a reminder of this occasion). It was about connection. As I said before, his enthusiasm was infectious, and I caught it. I don't even know this gentleman's name, but he was kind and offered this simple gift to someone who showed interest in what he had to share. He had knowledge, and enjoyed imparting to an interested party. We were simply two people who had a friendly conversation.

I can't seem to articulate it, but this simple gesture was, well...selfless. It was simply a nice thing to do. He got nothing out of it beyond more conversation (and a really big smile). The reward was connection to another person. That's it. He didn't expect more.

And now whenever I look at the Hornet on my tie, I will think of his friendly gesture and smile. He gave me that.