'Vacation' Rant

The Good Guy received news the other day that his uncle had passed away. It wasn't entirely unexpected but was a shock none-the-less. In the interests of offering family solidarity, we made hurried plans and traveled to Baltimore in order to give our love and support to his grieving relatives. Unfortunately I never met the man, and will never have the pleasure of doing so.

This was my first time meeting the extended paternal family, and it was indeed an experience. In general they were a very comfortable people. Strangely, many of his relatives seemed familiar to me. It was as if his family reminded me of people I knew, though no specific individuals came to mind. After a while I decided it was the openness they offered that made me feel comfortable and them familiar.

We accomplished a great deal in a very short period of time. I am going to share a specific incident. It is certainly NOT indicative of The Good Guy's family interactions with me, and in no way reflects the overall tone of the trip. The trip was very enjoyable (despite the reason for the journey). I am only offering this story as a source of entertainment because this is just the sort of thing that happens to me.

A little foreshadowing...I meet my fiance's extended family for the first time and get into an altercation with a drunken twenty-something. Only ME.

The story follows:

Background...We didn't attend the services because we simply couldn't plan, pay for, and execute our journey quickly enough to do so. Instead we joined the family the day after the funeral for a get-together at the abode of a family member. There was swimming, cajoling, eating, reminiscing, drinking, drinking, and more drinking. I didn't drink. I was in a new place with new people, the kids were there, and beer (for whatever reason) was totally unappealing to me that day. In hind-sight it's a damn good thing because I lose some of my ability to reason rationally with alcohol cruising through my system (weird-I KNOW).

The setting...The host of the get-together was another uncle (brother to The Good Guy's father, and brother to the uncle who passed away). Several people were sitting on the outside patio as the evening was winding down. The Good Guy was in the basement with his kids enjoying re-runs of The Pink Panther cartoon. I felt it was important for at least one of us to mingle at any given time, so I was hanging out on the patio with his parents, our host, our host's wife, a neighbor, and the future son-in-law of the host.

The Players...I'll call the future son-in-law L.C. (for Loose Cannon) as he is the villain in my story. He's one of those people that give you a bad-vibe from the get-go. I pride myself on my women's intuition. My intution told me he was an insincere poser, but, quite frankly I didn't think twice about it . To be totally honest, I simply dismissed him as someone who is irrelevant to me in almost every way, as I will probably never see him again, and if I do it will be brief and inconsequential. However, later, my intuition proved to be right-on, and any guilt I felt about judging a complete stranger dissipated.

The INCIDENT...As we were sitting around talking I noticed The Good Guy's swimming trunks laying on the ground in front of L.C. (who was seated next to me). The last I knew they had been draped over the chair on the other side of L.C. in order to dry.

Sidebar...I'm kind of anal-retentive. I need cabinet doors to be closed just-right, I need towels to be folded the correct way, I need curtains to be symmetrical, and I need the discard pile to be organized when playing cards. Otherwise it's like there's a buzzing mosquito flying around my ear. It's like this thing is annoying me and must be fixed in order for me to have peace. So, I didn't know how they got there, and I didn't care. Swim trunks should NOT be on the ground...they must.be.picked.up.

The INCIDENT, cont...Upon noticing the trunks on the ground I got up from my seat and bent over to pick them up and place them back on the chair. As I picked them up, without saying a word, L.C. violently grabbed them out of my hand and chucked them behind me and across the patio.

now, had I been drinking alcohol, the story may have gone as follows, "I then kicked him in the shin, LOUDLY called him a rotten bastard, and punched him in the face"

however...I had NOT been drinking, so, this is what happened:

I looked behind me (in the direction of said trunks), turned back (with eyes BULGING) gave L.C. the scariest stare I could muster, and in a voice that was raised but not yet screaming said,

"YOU are going to go pick those up, because they are MINE and that was RUDE!" Keep in mind that this was a watered down version of what I truly wanted to say (several expletives came to mind) since I was in the presence of strangers and my future parents-in-law.

Thankfully, I think my tone and the 'stare-o-DEATH' knocked some sense into the drunken L.C. because he looked at me for a moment (deer-in-the-headlights-like) and said, "I'll pick them up, ok?"

I then turned around, saw my future mother-in-law smile and wink at me and I said, "I can handle a drunk" as I sat back down. I was EXTREMELY grateful that she was communicating a distinct lack of anger at what I had done. It was one of those moments when I needed some form of back-up and she offered it to me in the best manner she could. She was silent, but I heard her loud and clear. "Good for you". She knew she didn't have to do a thing, I had it covered.

Then the host picked up the trunks and attempted to hand them to me when L.C. stopped him, took them, handed them to me and said, "I'm very sorry"

I responded "Apology accepted" You Jack-Ass.

Then the porch cleared out, I felt like a lepper, and our host made excuses about the boy being young and really upset about the death of his fiance's uncle.

Whatever. This guy's gonna marry your daughter, dude. You might wanna think about this. He apologized, which is great, and not always easy to do, so...I'll give him that.

Shortly thereafter The Good Guy appeared (totally unaware of what had taken place) and we did goodbyes, thank-yous, nice-to-meet-yous, sorry about your loss, etc.

As we walked to the car I told him what had happened and he expressed that he was proud of me and the manner in which I handled the situation. I needed to hear that, I was REALLY uncomfortable and had begun second-guessing my response to the situation.

I am a woman who can hold my own. I am also a woman with a temper. I must say, I'm proud of the decorum I used. I guess I am growing up!

*walks away to ice shoulder which now hurts from patting self on back*

Next Step to Self Improvement Goal: Work on Forgiving and Forgetting. (I think I've made this goal before-it's a hard one)

More about trip to Baltimore to come...the rest of the trip was wonderful. We stayed in a really nice hotel, the weather was great, and a whole lot of writing material was born from the experience. Stay Tuned.