At about 1:40 this morning the alarm in the living room began screeching. I hopped out of bed, adrenaline flowing, to see what was going on...expecting smoke or some such. By the time I got to the living room the alarm had stopped, and there were no signs of fire. Moments later 2x4 yelled from the bedroom, "What is it?" By this time I had decided there was no imminent danger and was mid way through bladder relief, because if I'm gonna have to get dressed and get out the door quickly, I need an empty bladder. "I don't know" was my intellectual response from the throne.
Then I went back to bed, asked 2x4 if the alarm is a carbon monoxide detector or a fire alarm. He didn't know, turned off the furnace, and went to back to sleep in .02 seconds, just enough time to mutter, "Well, at least if we die, we'll die together." Great.
So I spent the next 2 hours wide awake in bed trying to recall if it's carbon monoxide or dioxide that's the deadly gas. I couldn't remember this basic tid-bit of high school chemistry knowledge and it was keeping me awake. When I first went to college, it was as a science major. I was going to go into environmental science and save the world. Then I took Chem. 101 and within two weeks of the first class changed my major to liberal arts. I just couldn't wrap my artistic brain around the concept of letters and their little number buddies representing atoms and elements and such. Don't EVEN get me started on calculus! The area beneath a curve? You're KILLIN' me! Ask me who painted "Scream" (No, it wasn't Van Gough!) but don't ask me if the tasteless, odorless, faceless gas that is potentially going to kill me while I sleep has one or two Oxygens. I. Don't. Know.
This morning I decided to make biscotti. (Yes we survived the evening, it seems as though the alarm simply wanted us to be aware of its presence and had a little melt down. The alarm once again feels appreciated and has calmed itself). Anyway, I LOVE biscotti. We have a local bakery that charges 2 bucks a slice and I've decided that's too damn much, so I'm making some.
Except, I couldn't figure out how much 1/3 a cup of butter was in terms of conveniently portioned tablespoons drawn on the label of my butter stick. I actually had to ask 2x4 to do the math for me. He took a knife to the stick and handed me a chunk.
"I'm not retarded, you know!"
"I never said you were." Was his calm, loving reply.
I guess I'll just go sip my coffee and eat my biscotti while I make the world pretty with my art. I'll leave the hard math and science to others. Maybe that's why they charge two dollars a slice...all that hard math.
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9 comments:
"The Scream" - Munch! Carbon monoxide is the dangerous one, but if you leave your windows cracked you should be able to get out before it kills you. It's possible that the battery in your smoke detector is dying. They start going off at random sometimes when the battery is low. I usually get Stella D'Oro biscotti. Your'e right, the ones in the bakery are too expensive (but worth it!).
Cyber-I noticed after my post that you used Munch as in your 'part 3'. I thought of the battery thing but I think they're hard-wired in so that shouldn't be it. This is where renting comes in handy, I'll call the landlord on Tuesday and he can take care of it. I haven't tried the Stella D'oro, I'll give them a try. Mine aren't as crunchy as they should be, but they taste really good (If I do say so myself).
What kind of biscotti did you make?!? :)
Thursday-The two recipes I had were Lemon Pistachio and Double Chocolate. I didn't have the ingredients for the lemon pistachio and I didn't want the double chocolate so I made my own concoction with what I had, using those recipes as a guide. They were chocolate chip walnut, and mighty tasty!
OOOOO that sounds SO good. I pass up chocolate for lemon any day!
I feel your pain. I told my engineer boyfriend I was thinking of studying Environmental Sciences (to save the world, just like you), and he looked at me in disbelief and simply said: "You?!?!" OK, point taken. I'm sure we can save the world through baking!!
I love that you changed your profile pic to reflect what you REALLY look like! Hot!
Baja-I figure I do what I can to save the environment with my non-science mind (cloth bags at the gracery store, recycling, conserving water, buying non-GMO fair trade and organic foods, buying from local farms, bringing my own coffee mug to get coffee instead of using a disposable paper cup, etc). We can't ALL be scientists, can we?
2x4-Thank you my dear. I am pretty hot, though I still think I have a ways to go before I match the class of Ms. Bacall.
I've never been good at any conversion...measurement period. When I was a kid it felt like they didn't know if they wanted to teach Metric or English, so I wound up being confused.
We had the problem cyber described about the battery going out, and I kept waking up thinking it was my alarm clock. It was weird!
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