Be forwarned, this post will be completely random, and jump between topics that to the reader seem disjointed and unrelated. However, it will make total sense from my perspective. This is how my brain works...and there will be zillions of gramatical errors.
I have had several shots of alcohol tonight in spite of the fact that I decided a week ago this coming Monday that I will not have alcohol for a week. I didn't make it. Sometimes, you need a little something to make it through.
Why?
Because I'm still a waitress and people still suck. Oh, wait, I'm a waitress with a Bachelor's degree (I think) but I can't seem to find a job.
Why do I only think I have a degree? Well, you see, there are holds on my account. That means I owe the college money. I just put $1200 on my charge cards a couple of weeks ago to pay my tuition, but I'm thinking those damn library fees are coming back to haunt me. If I don't pay the $60 late fee for the books I never read, they'll hold my diploma (that I paid $50 for). Jerks.
So why am I drinking? Because I'm tired of being treated like trash by strangers and being forced to take it. I actually got in a customer's face tonight and sarcastically told her that it had been a pleasure waiting on her. Why? Because she was throwing my tip money back into her daughter's lap while announcing, "She doesn't deserve it!" Details: Irrelevant. I did deserve it after putting up with that heinus bitch for the length of an entire meal. (I have no idea if I spelled heinus correctly). Oh, and that waiterrant guy? No WAY is he that calm and collected all the time. NO. WAY.
How the hell do people find jobs in fields that aren't main-stream? They sure as hell didn't teach me THAT in college. The career counselors helped me write a resume and cover letter, but that's where their useful assistance ended. The director of my program spoke of 98% placement rates and such, but, um, I must be in the 2 percentile that sucks at searching for a job and is doomed to waitressdom.
Oh, and I did take a moment to contemplate the idea of losing my job tonight over that woman. I paused and reflected on how long it would take me to find a job after being fired for harassing her in the parking lot about how sorry I am that her life has been so awful that she must be cruel to perfect strangers who have done nothing to her. I decided against it. Searching for a job while you have a job is tricky enough. An unemployed job search, I imagine, would be slightly more stressful.
I waited on the proprietor of my restaurant tonight (no biggy, I do it all the time, guaranteed 20 smackers) he's in his late seventies, and somehow suckered me into a conversation about religion. That was fun. The topic of religion is RIGHT up there with politics. No, I don't like George Dubya, and yes, I'm a bleeding heart liberal who doesn't believe in organized religion. If you really want to have either conversation with me, be prepared to provide the alcohol.
Today, I seriously had a knot in my stomach because it was too warm outside for this season. Rush Limbaugh (I'm too lazy to google the proper spelling, but you all know who I'm talking about) is an asshole, global warming is real, der.
I won't put people's take out food in plastic bags becuase they're awful for the environment. I've had altercations with management about this. I win. You've gotta stand for something, right?
Well, the DiSaranno sedative is kicking in now. So, my reader, I bid you goodnight. I used to have more readers and commenters, then I stopped blogging so much, and they went away. 2x4 on the other hand is a regular blogging jock, he's got bloggers all over the place who just love his blog. It's not that I'm jealous or anything, it's just that I'm, well, jealous.
No, not really, der. It's a BLOG.
8 comments:
It's not much better working "mainstream," as in "office work." In some respects it's worse because you get to see the same crazies each day, as opposed to random craziness, although I have to give it to you, as antisocial as I am, I could never work with the public.
It was 72 here today. They say it reached 70 in 1950. So maybe the global warming thing has been ongoing all along. Or perhaps I should buy an air-conditioner because at this rate it should be 200 by Summer!
It's not just a blog, dear. It's a way of life. And I think yours is a wonderful read, if somewhat sporadic. Plus, when you write it comes straight from the heart.
I'll grant you that waiting tables sucks. I've done it. I hated it. You know that. A lot of people have had jobs in the service industry and very few of them enjoy it. You won't be there forever.
Keep a stiff upper lip, don't let them get you down, have a little faith in your own destiny. You will persevere. And keep in mind that this is your life. Don't think of this as a prologue, somehow preceding the eventual life you will have someday. Your life will change, but you are already living it. Try to enjoy it. You could be hit by a bus tomorrow.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm jealous of your ability to make perfect waffles on beautiful sunny Sundays in January for the Things and I.
Cyber- I don't think it's better working in an office, that's as unappealing as waiting tables to me. But getting a foot in the door in my field is proving difficult. It's that same old catch 22 where you can't get a job until you have experience, and you can't get the experience if you can't get a job. Frustrating. And I'll bet you could get a hell of a deal on an air conditioner right now.
2x4-I'm happy with all the other aspects of my life, I'm not living every moment thinking, "this is only a step to get to the next step" However, while waiting tables, some nights the only way I make it through is by chanting "You won't be a waitress forever" aloud for all to hear.
And I do make a mean waffle, don't I?
yes, don't give up hope. Searching for a job is tedious at best, and completely frustrating at worst...but you will find one. And even though it can take awhile, think of it this way. Do you just want any job, or the right job, the best job to match your skills and passion? Don't despair--with your commitment and drive, you will be finished serving nasty B's and their snotty kids food forever!
2x4 had me at that waffle comment. :) That is so sweet.
Hang in there, babe, because a year from now you wont be waitressing or blogging about it...promise!
xoxo
Your blog makes me laugh...I love the randomness of it.
Work is just work unless you do the thing you love...whether it is waiting on tables or managing director of a huge company....it is just boring boring work. But then you find the thing you love and work becomes life with a sparkle...it happens so keep looking
Robyne
http:www.creativewritintravel.blogspot.com
I could never wait tables for life. The one summer I did it was stress enough. I have a great respect for you and hanging in there.
On the days you just don't know how you are going to take much more, isn't it nice to be able to go home and just be??
The time between the degree and the 'real' job is a little bit like hell. I hated hated hated it too. Someday you'll be having one of those ickky days at work in your future job, and you'll realize that YES it could be worse. And you'll be thankful. (And wanna hunt down that beotch from the restaurant and put pickle juice in her coffee.) Tie a knot in the end of your rope and hang on wip! This too shall pass.
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