1. Blueberry muffins that don't actually have blueberries in them. If they have blueberry flavored sugar chips call them "blueberry flavored sugar chip muffins".
2. People who ride my bumper in the slow lane. Seriously, there are two lanes you can use to pass me...they're called passing lanes. I'm going the speed limit and saving money on gas. Don't MAKE me go 30 miles an hour. Because I TOTALLY will.
3. The fact that my mother attends a Catholic church despite the fact that she believes in abortion, believes women should have equal rights, believes in birth control...the list goes ON...
4. Adolescents. I spend 40 hours a week with these know-it-all emotional basket cases. Can you say 'Drama Queen'? And I'm talking about the boys. Oh! and the language they speak? I had a girl ask me today, "Where you at?" I was standing in front of her. She got annoyed when I told her I didn't understand the question. (In all seriousness, I like working with adolescents in many ways. But there are days...)
5. People who don't like to read. How is that possible?
6. People who don't break for an animal crossing the road.
7. Getting a latte that tastes bad. It's so damn dissapointing. That's aside from that fact that I am now out 4 bucks.
8. Sweaty palms. They're gross. But I can't really help it, they sweat of their own volition. So, how about we just pat each other's backs? Or maybe wink on it?
9. Smelly bathrooms. I've said this before, I'll say it again. Courtesy flush.
10. Stupid bumper stickers. "My boss is a Jewish Carpenter"? Why so cryptic? Why not "Jesus is the boss of me"? "Know Jesus, Know peace, no Jesus, no peace" blech.
11. People who get offended when you don't believe what they believe.
12. People who act all moral and pay top dollar for prostitutes.
13. Prostitutes who become famous for screwing a governor.
14. Mondays
15. Hard boiled eggs. Mmmm...let's eat those nasty fart smelling things!
16. Nobody reads my blog anymore.
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3 comments:
I still read it. But you're too bitter and angry all the time. It's not a happy read.
Jesus be with you.
I read it too
:)
Well, who knew? I still have a couple readers (though, I'm not sure you count, 2x4). It WAS a happy read. It was humorous. And I was actually in a good mood while writing.
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