I struggle with how much to articulate my frustrations. I don't want to be a Negative Nancy, but I also don't want to deny my true feelings-that's how you get an ulcer. Here's a little sample of the thought processees I am undergoing this evening (keep in mind as you read this that it is REALLY late and I'm very tired, but my mind won't shut down enough for me to be capable of sleeping).
~5 people go out to dinner at a nice restaurant where dinner averages $15 a plate. They sit at a table for over an hour and accumulate a bill of $20. FIVE people, TWENTY dollars. How much of a tip do they leave? $3. This is no joke, this is my reality.
Bright Side: A couple with a small child goes out to dinner, they're friendly, not at all demanding, the baby is ADORABLE and their bill comes to $70. They leave a $25 tip. This is also my reality.
~According the the custody agreement the kids should be with their father. Instead their mother decides that she is a better judge than anyone else (including their father and the court system) of how the kids should spend their time so she keeps them. She lets one have a sleepover with two friends while the other sleeps in bed with her and her boyfriend all night long. In the best interest of the kids? I don't think so. Anything I can do about it? Not a damn thing.
Bright Side: The kids still go to their father's, though not as much as they should. While there, they see how a rational, giving, sincere, loving, and reasonable person interacts with others.
~One of the sweetest people I work with can't stay after our shift and have a drink with me because her husband will accuse her of any number of deplorable actions. She deserves better. I can't tell her that it will all work out okay. I'm not sure it will.
Bright Side: She's healthy?
~The witch waitress at work still has an attitute problem.
Bright Side: I have been strong enough to not light into her with the wit and anger I have been amassing while "maturing" and "bettering myself". It takes great strength to overcome the need to tell stupid people that they suck. I am strong.
~I don't want to be so damned negative all the time. I don't like constantly grinding my teeth and feeling powerless. Chocolate and red wine are the strongest substances I use. They are my last line of defense. They aren't working.
Bright Side: As frustrated as I am, I am going to crawl into bed with a loving man who adores his children enough to continue to be level-headed despite mounting adversity and disappointment. He is as devoted to me as he is to his children. And...there is always more chocolate and wine.
3 comments:
Keep your chin up. Sometimes it's hard to see the big picture. You worked a night waiting tables and made a fair amount of cash. Specific tables just go in to the average. Don't get too upset over those below the average.
Right will always persevere over wrong. Sometimes it takes a while. Maybe I'll have to wait for the kids to be 18 before I get to see them as much as I'd like. They'll be open to it. And their mother will no longer be able to stop it.
2x4-You never cease to amaze me. If looking at the big picture is what gives you strength to keep rising above, then continue doing so. Adding the "Bright Side" to things is my way of trying to do the same.
Also, I realize that the low tips simply factor into the average, but I don't think tips like that will ever stop annoying me. The good news: The annoyance is short lived.
I waited tables for so long, through college and even after I had kids during the occassional summer break, and understand the frustration of people who just don't get it. The good news is, I'll bet you're an over-tipper when you go out. It's the sure fire sign of someone who knows.
About stupid people...I hate them. I am so frustrated by clueless and mean people that I made a personal commitment to myself to not let anyone else's behavior ever affect mine. That would just turn me into someone I can't stand - like them, and why wold I allow them to turn me into someone I don't like? It's not as hard as you think, no reason to grit your teeth while you're doing it, as long as you have it all in perspective. You can find satisfaction in your continued ability to rise above complete idiots! :)
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